Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
