i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
