sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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