she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
