So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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