Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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