There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
A bitchslap is in order.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
