Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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