i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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