our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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