Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
