You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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