who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
