You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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