I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
