Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
