I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
