I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
