I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The uberlube is also flammable
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
