dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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