where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
