We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Ambien. No doubt about it.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I am one with the molecules
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
