Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
