The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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