I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
