No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
