I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
