Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
