I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
