my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
