gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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