i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
