worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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