I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He felt like a one man threesome
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
