I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
