would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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