You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
