So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
