This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
