my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
