the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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