rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Randomize
