Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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