Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
