we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
