i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
