so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
