For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
