Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
i out mim tonsoeep
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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