Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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