Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
