I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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